Whatever else can be said of the PhD endeavor, it is fraught with anxiety and self-doubt. Everyone associated with graduate education knows this, many of us from first-hand experience, but rarely do we discuss it, and rarer still do we consider ways to ameliorate it.
Perhaps it is in the nature of the endeavor itself.
Extended PhD-level research often becomes so intimately bound up with our sense of ourselves that it is difficult to disentangle who we are from the work we do. This incapacity to distance our work from ourselves can turn every rejection into an existential crisis, every critique into a judgment of our value as a person.
Or at least that’s how it can feel.
In her article, The PhD experience: this far, and no further, Holly Else tells the stories of 5 PhD researchers who, faced with such feelings, either struggled to finish or decided to pursue another course of life.
One morning a few weeks ago, John Gill tweeted a link to the article:
"Some days I would sit down on the floor and just cry". Five brutally honest PhD stories: http://t.co/Hj976ULV8t via @timeshighered #phdchat
— John Gill (@JG_THE) August 15, 2014
I read his tweet and the article as I was preparing for work that morning and responded:
I wonder if the PhD always has to be so fraught with pathologies of self-doubt. What could we do to ameliorate that?@JG_THE @timeshighered
— Chris Long (@deancplong) August 15, 2014
John turned the question back on me …
@deancplong Interesting question. Do you have any thoughts? If so we'd be interested in discussing for a f/up article I'm sure…
— John Gill (@JG_THE) August 15, 2014
And that began a wider conversation:
@JG_THE Getting a PhD is difficult, so it's bound to draw out anxieties. We might start w/ more support systems that provide perspective.
— Chris Long (@deancplong) August 15, 2014
Perspective
It is easy to become so caught up in the life of your discipline and department that a wider perspective is lost. One reason we created the Graduate Internship Program in the College of the Liberal Arts at Penn State is to provide students with a broader perspective on university life and the institution that sustains their work.
@deancplong @JG_THE I agree. More support is required, esp for new students. Mentoring by other students seems useful but is it practical?
— Hannah Carver (@Hannah_Carver1) August 15, 2014
Hannah makes a good suggestion here. I do think peer mentoring can be an effective and practical approach. It might be worth considering creating more opportunities for cross-disciplinary mentoring to disrupt the insularity of discipline specific norms and cultures.
Do we offer graduate students enough opportunities to engage socially and academically with students from other disciplines?
Faculty Anxiety
Faculty in general and junior faculty in particular experience similar feelings of anxiety and self-doubt, but these play themselves out differently in relation to the graduate students over whom they have significant authority.
. @deancplong @JG_THE some of us have been asking this for a while. But the attitude persists that it's all about the student's weakness.
— melonie fullick (@qui_oui) August 15, 2014
.@qui_oui @JG_THE Agreed, and the graduate experience is also bound up with faculty insecurities in complex ways.
— Chris Long (@deancplong) August 15, 2014
@JG_THE @ruthiemacgee @deancplong Yes, I think profs feel it is an attack on them to frame the prob like this (but the prob persists)
— melonie fullick (@qui_oui) August 15, 2014
Supervisor
As Ruth McGinty points out, the role of an understanding, supportive dissertation supervisor can be critical. Take a look at the articles to which Melonie Fullick links on this issue.
@ruthiemacgee @deancplong @JG_THE I wrote something on this http://t.co/wmYx0DtLHA + http://t.co/u6OoVOUVvg
— melonie fullick (@qui_oui) August 15, 2014
Do we do enough professional development for dissertation advisors?
Don’t show weakness
Posturing in academia is endemic. A fear of seeming weak or ignorant or inadequate isolates us from one another. I admire the candor of Helene’s tweet on this:
@qui_oui @deancplong @JG_THE agreed. Many times I was told by other grads to not talk about my fears and doubts. Would show weakness.
— Helene Huet (@superHH) August 15, 2014
The pathologies of self-doubt and anxiety felt by so many graduate students is symptomatic of a corrosive culture of graduate education.
What structures can we put in place or initiatives can we undertake to ameliorate the culture of anxiety that surrounds graduate education?
cplong JG_THE qui_oui HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse great summary and contribution towards more + much needed, discussion on this issue
cplong thanks very much. I have some thoughts that will be in a blog post tomorrow (2nd part of a post based on a keynote talk)
cplong JG_THE ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse I think regular dialogue w/ others can assuage self-doubt about one’s own work
qui_oui Great, I look forward to reading it. Tweet me when it’s out.
qui_oui cplong JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse agree altho early in phd such chat can also accelerate Fear and self doubt/loathing!
ruthiemacgee cplong JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse true, I was thinking more of how we lack certainty re whether ideas “work”,
ruthiemacgee cplong JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse & working in a vacuum only exacerbates that kind of uncertainty
ruthiemacgee cplong JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse I think some of this relates to what the “local” culture is like, too.
.qui_oui ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse Exactly. Have any concrete suggestions to make the “local” culture better?
qui_oui cplong JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse i see, agree too-work is in vacuum but also often isolationist too. 1/2
cplong ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse I aim for concrete suggestions but I’ve only made it as far as principles!
qui_oui cplong JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse How to balance academic freedom with collaborative +supportive culture is imp point
cplong ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse Those will be in tomorrow’s post. Problem is, there’s so much variation,
cplong ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse Every suggestion is conditional on what’s happening already in a department etc
qui_oui ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD HollyElse Yes: All happy departments are alike; each unhappy department is unhappy in its own way.
cplong ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD HollyElse or the response is sometimes, “well we already do this, so it’s not a problem”…
cplong ruthiemacgee JG_THE HanC_PhD HollyElse …when of course it’s clearly a problem elsewhere, so that doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant.
cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse making my second attempt at my PhD and needed to read this. thank you!
SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse Do we have the right supports here in advising to help you finish?
cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse Absolutely! JamieBrennerPSU mcbrayermelissa & others are amazing.
cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse JamieBrennerPSU mcbrayermelissa feel very supported and encouraged.
SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD superHH HollyElse JamieBrennerPSU mcbrayermelissa Add deancplong to that list!
cplong SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse I think so. I have received a lot of support over the years. But it
cplong SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse has not been the case for all of my colleagues, especially those
cplong SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse suffering from depression. So I wish we would talk more about +
cplong SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse mental illnesses, impostor symdrome, etc. This is not smg shameful.
cplong SJTelenko JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse It happens to so many of us. Let’s be more open about it.
superHH cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse pregnancy, with twins, did me in. along with some complications…
superHH cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse and making motherhood a priority for a few years.
superHH cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse BUT these years away from PhD have made me more confident, at peace.
SJTelenko superHH cplong JG_THE qui_oui HanC_PhD HollyElse good to hear, the whole phd/early career often feels like such a rat race
ruthiemacgee superHH cplong JG_THE qui_oui HanC_PhD HollyElse it’s individual but wouldn’t trade my experience or kids for anything.
SJTelenko cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse On that note I would add that we should not shame women in the +
superHH cplong SJTelenko JG_THE ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse that’s why I wrote about it, but what I’ve noticed is,
superHH cplong SJTelenko JG_THE ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse only certain kinds of posts are “cited”. PhDisabled “gets” this.
SJTelenko cplong JG_THE qui_oui ruthiemacgee HanC_PhD HollyElse academy (at any level) for wanting/having kids.
For me, graduate school
takes on the form of a roller-coaster more than a continuous free-fall, but
when the roller-coaster reaches its apex, I find myself second guessing the
climb and anticipating the fall that may or may not be steep.
In order to deal with the
practical and emotional aspects of grad life, our department (Spanish, Italian,
& Portuguese), has had, for many years, a departmental graduate student
organization. This year, we’re focusing heavily on creating a supportive community
among graduate students. We are implementing a mentorship program for first
year students by pairing them with graduate students further along in their
programs. Additionally, each monthly meeting we will be highlighting the work
of current students in mini presentations. This will serve to get to know each
other better and provide a safe, positive space to discuss our research and
interests.
The emotions and
difficulties vary by person, but we’re trying to take one step toward
ameliorating negative feelings by creating a stronger support system amongst
ourselves.